Warm and safe in my little haven, i see the bright sun outside, but it doesn't fool me. I know how cold the winds blow! But they can't get to me here. Peace!

You see the struggles in my life, the downtrodden droop of my shoulders and the sorrow in my eyes- and say nothing, but move on as though i were perfectly fine.

Yet, there is calm somewhere in this forest, and i will find it! My refuge is not far. It cannot escape me! I will yet bask in the peacefulness again.

As the night-dreams fade from my swirling head, I lie still and try to sift and sort the chaos. Hardly awake and already overwhelmed! Silence, insecurities! Go!

I am weary of being lonely in crowded rooms and invisible among friends. There are but few who validate my existence, who feed my soul, who give back with care

The rough bite poorly disguises a soft center.

Lonely but elusive, satisfied but sad, loved but overlooked, I wonder what my dreary dreams will hold tonight.

How can a person desperately want to be alone, and be lonely at the same time?

Hey! Remember me? I work hard, but am hardly noticed until someone wants something of me. I am tired. And i am here!

It's a dark, rainy evening. The noisy chaos inside is annoying, but it's warm and dry in here. I would rather sit in peace and listen to the gentle storm, tho!

Lay low and stay out of trouble. Put on a smile when you are visible. It smooths the air and lightens your heart.

The silence is a song, beautiful and sweet in the magical sunlight. This is when fairy tales are born and vivid dreams continue into the waking hours!

The sun wasn't supposed to shine on us today, but apparently is feeling rebellious. It's nice to have the light and warmth.

It's really empty and cold in here today. I don't want to come out, though.

Grey November

The cold, dark box around me blocks out the chaos of the harried world outside. It is blank and featureless, but i retreat gratefully into its solace. I have no need to partake of the insanity that takes place out there. My box is a lonely place, but it is safe in here. Loneliness is an old friend, and is kinder to me by far than Pressure, Stress, and Insecurity have ever been. Insecurity still seems to hang around a lot, though. I can't seem to shake it for long.

I do not pine for high society, for glory or excitement. I do not desire vast riches or exotic places. I simply want to do good and not screw anything up.

Today has been better. I've had less pressure and more cooperation from those around me. I feel numb.

Some people say they care, then they don't show it. "They draw near unto with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." Honestly, what good does that do?

In my weary bed, i am blanketed by the silver light of the full moon. Its gentleness contrasts the harshness of the day and soothes away the horror and strife.

You've been trained to keep walls around your mind. That's just your way. But i'm here on the outside, and i want in! Please let me in. You're safe with me.

My goal for the day is to go emotionally numb.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Gloom hangs over me like the darkest cloud, and my smile is gone. I want to be invisible so i don't have to pretend anything.

I can't stop the tears now, so i sit alone in the dark and wait for them to subside. Surely they will eventually.

No matter how fast i run, it's not fast enough. I can never be good enough! The hard work which drains me so is insufficient. So tired, yet still more to do.

I crawl into my dark hole and hide. The tears fall unchecked. They call for me just outside, but i need the solace of release. I've been strong for so long!

The pressure ceases all-too-briefly, then recommences just as heavily as before. I cannot catch my breath, nor does the pain of overexertion subside. I am weak.

Can't find my happy dust today. :( My heart is sad.

War rages in my dreams, and insecurity haunts me by day. The silent tears wet my pillow yet again. I cannot find my forest, my solace, my bastion!

Rest a while, and catch your breath. The forest sings; stop and listen! Be refilled by the life that swirls around you.

Sweet solace calms my weary soul, and builds my armor against the sharp arrows of the world. Courage!

The sun shines hot and bright on my face. Though I am tired, it somehow endows me with strength. I can continue for as long as is necessary. I am capable!

It's amazing how a bit of kindness from another can stregthen me. Thank you, my friends.

The shadows flash and dance, and the air blows hot and cold. Befuddled, I manage to keep my balance.

It's been a lonely day. The whirlwind pace I've been keeping lately has finally worn me out, and I shrink like a child, wanting to be soothed. Love and praise?

Sometimes i love getting really sick because life is too hard & i want a break. I bask in the calmness of a fever & secretly hope that someone will care.

As I crawl beneath my soft sheets, my friend, the moon, stands guard, and blankets me in silver. Faithful, loyal, true! I would that all friends were thus.

I just want to have a happy day; to wake up with a smile and keep it all day. I want people around me who can laugh as we work, and are happy that i'm there.

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Why is it so much easier to recall the wounds than the joys? I feel so hurt and so alone.

The silent, silver moonlight slips into my room, soundlessly invading, to push away the gloom.

It's sad how one person can spend an entire day hoping to hear from someone, and that someone can spend the same day not caring.

Over time, the struggle between the friendship given and the pain caused seems to cease- and one side wins. Why is it so often pain?

As i lie in my soft bed, the night air dances through the tall palms outside, rustling them sweetly. The peace is audible, and delicious! I bask in the moment.

The cool early-morning air smells delicious. It has a crispness about it that makes me want to go outside and run and dance and exult! Thank you, Father.

A stolen moment of respite- too soon interrupted. The sweet, calm air, the songs of the birds, the gentle sky- all shut out by the demands of life.

The trees are full in their vibrance, holding nothing back with their bold declaration of green. A deep, clear sky stretches jauntily above. The air whispers...

The loneliness stays by my side, the most loyal companion i've ever known.

Night washes over me like a gentle wave. It envelopes me, cushioning me from the chaos of the world around me. I let it pull me away, drifting sightlessly on...

Survival Technique

I retreat into my own little world
It is strange here
and sometimes dark
But that's all right
Because the moonbeams whisper
Though the sun may shine
bright and blaring
The softness of night
The coolness
and open air
Follow me
Filter through me
I carry with me
Hidden
My own little world.

There is a lingering loneliness that accompanies me everywhere. It tells me that i am separate from those around me, and that i must remain so.

Solitude surrounds me, replaces empty spaces in my mind. Lonely child, running wild...

I am quite weary of being used, then abandoned. I am needed, then forgotten. There are too many egocentric people!

There's no one i can talk to anymore.

My forest is gentle today. The hours pass kindly, and i sing my gratitude toward heaven. All is well for the moment. Rest!

My forest is mellow today. There is a wind about, but it doesn't bother me. I rest, and bask in the comfort of knowing that i am safe for now.

I've felt so alone lately, As though my interactions with others are from a great distance. I am separate, isolated, unknown. Lonely.

I guess i just have to get used to being insignificant and irritating. It's safer to just keep to myself. I won't bother people that way.

Ive worked hard today. My soft bed welcomes me! As i drift off to sleep, my mind wanders far...

Friends care. They show it eagerly, tenderly, freely. Often.

The storms have finally passed! The sweet forest is gentle and still in the calm. My journey continues, but my heart is lifted! Hope! Peace!

It's a beautiful day. The sky is deep blue, with light wispy cirrus clouds. The air is warm, but the breeze is gentle. The trees are full and bright!

Ive managed to stay upbeat so far, but i'm scared. How long can i keep this up? I don't want to break again.

The winds have changed and it's storming from a different direction. I am weak. I am beaten.

No one is there for me. They say they are, but i'm lying on the floor, crying, and no one cares. I'm so alone!

I'm a failure.

Washed up on the shore, amidst the flotsam and jetsam, i am motionless, but for my weary breath. My strength is spent. Helpless, i cannot flee.

The wind howls and the storm rages and the trees bend, and i wait for anyone to notice that i'm in the midst of it and cannot escape.

In the shower this morning, i just stood there and cried.

I'm so alone. I'm so weary! Everything looks so dark.

Stand by me. Hold my hand. A song will accompany us, and i'll be okay.

All alone in a crowded room, the silence screams around me. If i speak, someone may notice me; must keep quiet! The solitude is suffocating, but safe.

I wish they would stop claiming that i matter a lot, and start acting like it.

Take me away from here. Take me to the cool forest, where the little streams gurgle and splash and the air is light and clean. Abandon me, for i am safe there!

I like me when i'm happy. The trouble is, i'm never happy for long enough. And i hate me when i'm sad.

How can i believe that you love me when you won't listen to my cares? You only love the way you want me to be? I'm so lonely.

I listen to my favorite songs, but their magic doesn't reach me this time. The familiarity is soothing, but they have no balm.

I feel so alone. It is as though there are some who reach out for me, and i sense their concern, but they cannot reach me. I am lost in the vast darkness. alone

Let me get lost here in my forest- i don't care how long i'm in here. Leave me. It's safe here.

The music is welcome to my ears, as it stirs my heart like the breeze through the pines. It's sweet scent is carried on, cooling the sorrow.

Soaked to the skin, i sit and wait out the storm. It no longer shocks me when the wind bites, and i can't get any wetter. Nothing matters.

A storm rages in the forest! I find myself alone, wet, thrown about by the wind, with no chance for shelter.

I am deep within my forest, beneath the soft pines and lofty branches. It is cool and restful here. Yet I long to be missed...

A strange breeze can stir the soul.

I'm too weak for this world. The bitter winds are too cruel, and i cannot stand!

When you make changes to improve yourself, you arent changing who you are- you're finding it.

The trees are my friends, valiant and stalwart and loyal. They whisper to my heart the things I long to hear.

Words of praise are nectar; so sweet, and so rare.

Do you ever feel like the only thing you are really good at is completely useless?

Unnecessary

No one wants what I give so freely. I offer too much of what nobody wants anyway. I am strange to them, unnecessary, a hindrance perhaps. My heart breaks as I watch yet another day go by. I am alone, whether in fact or in a crowd, and others' lack of concern is quite evident.

Something strange is in the air. It is heavy and still and hot, as though waiting for a breeze that doesn't come. The suspense is palpable, and I, too, wait.

The day has been long, and touched with beauty, but alas! It ends in tears.

A quiet day! The gentle breeze returns to my forest, and there is peace once again, at least for a time.

Maybe I'm not insane. Perhaps the lack of compassion I receive makes me feel like a spectacle of error, when really I just need to stand strong. I am important!

So many storms raging through my sweet forest, unnoticed, insignificant to those i would hope would care. Why don't they care about me? Am i meaningless?

Do you know that a kind word from you can make it worth dragging myself out of bed each morning? Words go straight to my heart. Be kind; don't tease me.

Uneasy

The sky is listless today
as though it cannot decide what to do with itself.
The air is confused-
first warm as the sun shines brightly
then cool as the thick, white clouds float in
dimming the light.

It is as one who cannot determine his heart
whether to love or refrain
speak or be silent,
who cannot decide whether he longs for
the gleaming sun of day
or the lonely, tranquil moon.

The sky is listless today.

Social Propriety

I'm learning to smile
as best I can
and say that I'm fine
when others ask
and not burden them
with the truth
for they don't really
want to know
or care
I see it as doing them a favor
for they are content
to think that all is well
and relieved
of obligation
So the masquerade continues
I offer my shoulder
when they are in need
and water my pillow at night
in silence

The Forest's Serenade

The peaceful forest calls me
To sit within its realm.
No foe nor harm can find me
Nor sorrows overwhelm

The boughs above are verdant
So deep with ancient hues
They offer all their wisdom
To him who would peruse

The noble woods thus call me
To wander through the glade
And find therin protection
And hear its serenade

Oblivious

You haven't asked me how I'm doing.
I inquired about your latest ailments,
and sympathized
and listened to your tales
but got nothing in return.
My evening was soaked with tears,
my night-dreams
heavy with anguish
but you went your way
oblivious
and here I sit
alone.

Wind

The wind is wild
And fierce today
I wish it would
Sweep me away
Some far-off place
Without a trace
Where I could hide,
My dreams to play

Is it bedtime yet??

The harried rush
from task to task
puts weight upon
my weary back
And thus I long
for night to fall
And for my pillow
soft to call
The burden lifted
from my heart
Will a renewed sense
of peace
impart

Not so fast

Your words of kindness
assault my ears
for they are spoken
under duress.
If you meant them
you should have said such things
before I was angry.
Now they feel
obligatory
and do nothing
to offer solace.
It pains me
to hear such things
and wonder
if you mean them.

On a blanket

Sunlight on the blossoms
Blue sky in between
Lying on a blanket
Still
Remain unseen!

A gentle breeze whispers
A bird is on the wing
Cares float by unnoticed
(Quiet!)
Welcome, spring

The Spectre of Insecurity

You wander through my thoughts by day,
And haunt my dreams at night.
Unwelcome guest,
Unseize my breast
And let my heart take flight!

I work so hard, and I'm so tired, but it's never good enough. I just keep going, plodding, trudging, and am met only with more to do, and more that I have failed to do. I'm so weary.

Travail

I toil, i toil, through tears and trouble
Through sunlight that pierces my very soul
Though never will i reach my goal
I toil through quiet, lonely hours
Or raging chaos
By fragrant flowers
Down moonless nights
My endless plight

Yet no one sees
And no one cares
While endless duties
Fill the years

Invitation

Come, my friend, and walk with me
Here beneath the watchful trees
And let your heart find solace here
For there is magic in the air

Night

The peaceful hush of evening
whispers to my mind
And beckons, ever beckons
to leave the day behind.

The sun's bright glare has faded
far beyond the sea
And dreams unknown await me
I hear them call to me.

Haiku from the Downtrodden

Why bother talking
When no one is listening
And nobody cares?